Eros, Philia, Narcissistic, Storge and Agape, what do these five words have in common? Each one of them is a different type/dimension of love. Why is it that when each of these words has such a different meaning as we will see that the English language tends to wrap them up and use just one word for all of them, that word of course is love. Using just one word to mean all four of these concepts does not do any of the four justice.
We will look at these in what I feel is a logical order from most to least selfish, for yes even love can be selfish at times. The order we will look at them in is Narcissistic, Eros, Philia, Storge and Agape. Each of these words for love comes from ancient Greek.
First up, Narcissistic love, otherwise known as self love, this type of love is the most selfish of loves as it involves only yourself and not others. Even though narcissism is at its root a selfish love, even it has its place in society and relationships as long as it is not in excess. As is commonly said, how can you love someone else if you don’t love yourself first? Narcissistic love only becomes a problem when you start to love yourself more then others and become engrossed with “how wonderful you are” or “how beautiful you are” etc. Those who all Narcissism to consume them; however, are almost guaranteed to fall prey to até, or excessive pride which leads to the down fall of many both great and small.
Moving on to the next type of love, Eros or erotic love, this type of love is physical and sexual in nature. A good number of relationships today tend to be based on this type of love, which while important in a relationship should in no means be what the relationship itself is founded on or based on. Relationships that are solely or even primarily based on this form of love often tend to fade in short periods of time. Eros can also be referred to as Romantic love, but is equated with lust more then romance.
The third dimension of love, Philia, is considered to be brotherly love; this type of love is non-sexual in nature and includes both affection and friendship. Philia is the type of love that you share with your close friends and is a fairly common form of love. So next time you tell a friend you love them, this is the type of love you share with them.
The fourth type of love is Storge; this type of love is considered to be familial love or love of family such as a love between parent and child. When one extends Storge to include all members of our human family we approach the fifth and final type of love, agape.
What is agape? Agape is the fifth and final dimension of love, it is love in its purest form as it is completely unconditional and selfless. It is the ideal to which we should all strive in life to love everyone unconditionally, totally and selflessly. Very few human beings can truly claim to truly be Agapic in its true sense. There will be times when we may have an Agapic love for one or more people but rare indeed is the person who is truly Agapic. Even though, most of us may never truly reach the level of true Agape we should all strive towards this ideal and goal as it will bring us closer and help put an end to hatred and intolerance between various groups.
While each of these types of love is different none are more important then the others, each one have its own merits. Each and every single one is of importance today, even narcissistic love as mentioned early, as long as it does not get out of control and become totally self absorbing, which in its truest form it is. The most successful relationships combine all these types of love together in the right proportions. Are not the most successful relationships based on a deep friendship and affection that builds to first a familial love with the person then eventually on to an unconditional love that also is full of passion and desire? But before you can get to that level you must first be able to love yourself as a person and see the good in you before you can love someone unconditionally.
Relationships mutually based on both types of love are almost sure to last, because with the higher levels of love comes respect and trust, for love implies respect and trust of the other person. How can you love someone without respecting and trusting them???
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